PRINCIPIUM INDIVIDUATIONIS ~~~> Phase II

I have been in a haze for the last two years, mainly functioning on auto-Pilot; suppressing my natural exuberant openness to say exactly what was on my mind withOut (insert word here). 

Never been a pack animal, always ran solo; enjoyed my company more than when in the company of actual humans.  The best times of my life I have remembered have been with meSelf.

Solitude is good.

Quiet is nice. 

Peace is even better.

The world is tumultuous enough as it is, why compound an already fraught situation?

Everyday one drives out of the gate is like going inTo a battleField.  Humans and their varied psychological issues, emotional drama, deviousness, secret social cues that you are expected to know about, and if you don't then you must have horns.

It's e-x-h-a-u-sting.

I'm glad I have the sort of job that occupies my ADD brilliantly, satisfies my restLess need to explore, invent, expand outSide the so-Called parameters of human existence. But, the piece de resistance is that I don't need to be visible. My face is not what sells the business. It's the quality craftsmanShip that does. I can get lost behind 366®, earn a decent living and have the opportunity to follow my other passions of painting, writing, motor-biking, travel, cooking etc.  And just be ME. 

The business model has been created in such a way that requests can be accepted onLine and those who wish to visit our plush original-looking office can do so.  I love working in my office, I never have to leave; it feels I'm strolling through Elysium. Finally, I'm doing exactly what I like - how I like. Each job order worked on is a labour of love. The drive is to give value, serious mind-Blowing value. Going over and beyond expectations. It's sooo exciting and the possibilities to create are endless.  It's like falling inTo the rabbit hole abyss; not the typical Alice kind of falling, more like a fusion of Nietzsche and the Rabbit Hole sans Alice and the wicked witch.

Finally all that fiery scalding passion inSide of me have found have found an outLet.

ADD.  Check.

organising? Check.

Restlessness. Check.

Problem solving?  Check.

Working with my hands.  Check.
Creative expressions? Mucho check check.

Neurotic attention to details.  Triple check check.

OCD. Check.
OCD. Check.
OCD. Check.

My mercurial mind-hopping gymnastics have finally found someThing that can contain it, (reminiscent of how the Human Torch contained von Doom).

An über-Fantastic work environment with a conservative google-ish atmosphere?
Check ad infinito ad infinitum.

Breaking out in impromptu song and dance in the work place (when Clients are not around, of course) with not a care?
Oṃ maṇi padme hūuuuuṃ....  check.
Staff always humming and singing under their breath? Check yea.

All my restLess seeking, wandering, searching for that… someThing.  Is this it? Don't know how long this will last, but it has been three years and I am still thinking ahead to the future; my relationShip with 366® is getting deeper and more committed.  No one and nothing has ever held my attention this long or so steadily. It is amazing, not a hint of boredom in sight. Have never looked over the shoulder at a future divorced from the present at the endLess possibilities in a fascinating world.  These three numbers fascinate me and hold my gaze so steadfastly. Totally obsessed.  I do not see beyond this fascinating entity, I see inTo it. The beauty of it, the magic of it. I have guarded and fiercely protected these three red numbers +(r) like a lioness guards her cub. In this case though, don't know who is the lioness and who is the cub. Perhaps, mutual energy transference from one state to the other via teleportation?

I have tried to step away, some days I will tell mySelf; I am not gong to make a move.

But, beFore you know it, I am feverishly getting ready, excitedly strategising in my head

ADD + OCD = 366® .
Winning formula.

I have worked hard on trying to see how 'normal' people see things. I hung out with a "normal" human for a bit, and I couldn't imagine how someOne lives like that from day to day. G-r-i-n-d-i-n-g through each day, completely devoid of life. Existing, not living.  Constant air of desperation and despair, mourning a life never lived, glass half-empty, vacuous, prone to histrionics, couldn't see beyond one feet ahead. This interActive exercise was one of the BEST things to have ever happened to me in my life and it's made me underStand how GREAT I have it. It made me underStand the distinction between: 

Smart and Crooked 

Honesty and Foolishness 

Utilising Opportunity and Taking Advantage

It made me underStand that smart, honest and utilising opportunity trumps crooked, foolish and taking advantage ANY DAY of the weak (deliberate use). The former leads to peace, success and joy while the latter leads to a r-e-a-lly messed-up state of existence. It made me underStand that:

not everyBody is on the side of progress

there are people who are more interested in being right than in being correct

It made me underStand that:

there are humans who have no idea who they are, 

where they are, where they are headed,

and where they are coming from. 

...that there are people who live in a permanent state of envy, need, want, extreme desperation, confusion and general ridiculousness. More lessons I learned:

not everyBody has good in them
and there is such a thing as Incorrigible Foolishness

My conclusion is this:

If you want to be happy, be.

If you want to be successful, work.

If you want love, believe you are worthy of it and you shall find it.

If you believe deep down you're not worthy, you never will.

Don't buy, give.

Someone once said I'm an odd cockTail of child, woman, responsible adult, air-Head, demon, and ingenue.  Prior to the explosion of 366®, I was seen as a nutter, weirdo, fake(because me not speaky normal or acty "normal"), pretentious.  Well, I've single-Handedly started a company from scratch with no business loan or business partner and in three years the company can be seen in Forbes Africa.  The FORBES.  366® is seen all over Africa, amazing.  Never taken a business partner. Never take a business loan and the firm is where it is toDay.  I someTimes have to pinch mySelf. 

The Nigerian society could be an extremely difficult one for the unConventional,
as it is cash driven society; not a value driven one.

And, it is a truly glorious place to be. It is HOME.
If you can make it here, you can make it a-n-yWhere.

Oh yes, I hear a familiar a tune in my head.... drop the beat, Frankie:

(to be continued.... mayBe)