To Infinity, non Beyond?

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I have been torn withIn mySelf lately…
I have arrived at a crossRoad, a point where I have to make a decision regarding my mind. In the past, it was easy for me to mentally hop like a kangaroo from one subject to another. Zip here. Zap here.One second thinking of science, the second thinking of philosophy and how magical the scholars and philosophers must have been in Ancient Greece; with their togas and leafy headBands, their nose; their gods. 

That now takes ones thoughts to Rome, to the grandeur of the coliseum. The gladiators. The debauchery. The perversions. The decadence. Think “Caligula” - no, not an exaggeration but an accurate depiction of the times. Not really a fan of Persian hedonism. Mainly Greek, Roman, Egyptian civilisations. Norse. Vikings. Barbarians. My interest has recently been piqued by African civilisations… the beautiful Dark people. The best DNA. Great genetics.
The excitement of science. Astronomy. Complex equations. The breathTaking speed of the advancements in technology. Ancient history. WWII (primarily enfant terrible). Fashion. Colours. Nature. Automobiles. Engines. Art. There are no words to describe how sublime it is to flit from subject to subject mentally. Finish paintings in your head. There is a lot of activity upStairs; mini utopia (of sorts) full of never-ending personal curiosities. In my head, I am free to travel to infinity and beyond. I love the exercises and the journeys. They bring me incredible joy.

Herein, lies the dilemma…

When I was the CEO running one company ( 366® ), it was easy. I could still indulge in my private and solitary mental ping pong (the only thing that keeps me sane) while competently handling my MD/CEO & Chief Creative duties. I have run 366® for almost half a decade and have brought it to a strong place where we are now a prominent brand synonymous with premium Gift craftsmanship. There were the initial start-up challenges (naturally), but with determination, perseverance, the grace of GOD and sheer irresolute will, 366® is where it is toDay. I thank GOD Almighty for everyThing.
In continuation of my dilemma and mental oscillation…

When I was the CEO running one company( 366® ), it was easy to run around my inner mind independent of my company. Today, I am the CEO running two companies, with very different corporate structures and services. It is beComing different… I find that with each passing day (for a while now) my thoughts are mainly about work and business. In addition, I have beGun compartmentalising and preserving my write-ups, paintings and other things. I do not have the room (in my head) to physically paint right now and indulge in other personal creative projects which I yearn to underTake and I am beginning to discover that my mental walkabout is now singularly directed as opposed to the freedom of previous erratic thought patterns. Not sure I like this... development. I do not think I want it.

There is so much going on. I need to give full absolute mental attention to the businesses and it is affecting my mind travels. Do I sacrifice this for this businesses? Can I put it on hold and reTurn? What if I cannot reTurn back to the inner vault? I am worried I may lose my unStructured creativity and now have structured and strictly business creativity. I love my internal world of kaleidoscopic terrains (so much left to discover in there) and I do not wish to lose it.

Worried about going fully structured... 
What if it is the path of no reTurn? 



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